What women do or not do in bed is a huge concern for us men. A lot of you spend hours thinking why women are the way they are. Why they do what they do. Conversing about your sex life with your mates, a lot of you would definitely have some nerve-wracking experiences to share. A lot of women do that, we understand. Here are some of the worst things women have said/done in bed to men we know. Read on and feel better.
Make You Feel Like A Necrophile
© Shutterstock
You pin her down on the bed after a steamy kiss, only to realise she has magically turned into a log of wood. She takes role play too seriously. Only, there is just one role she plays each time - that of a corpse. Nothing is creepier than making love to a woman so still and silent that you're almost able to hear the blood flowing inside your body.
Bite
© Shutterstock
Even the sound of it hurts, right? We hear you. Unfortunately many women do that. And not just to your lips. Excitement is good, but a sharp stapler for a mouth is a little too much to bear. Some women just do not know how to keep their teeth off certain sensitive areas. It's a little more hard-hitting than even what the strongest of men can take.
Changing Their Mind Mid-Way
© Shutterstock
Nothing can be more annoying than a woman chickening out in bed. To make it worse, some of them express shock over even the thought of having sex - like watching television is what normal people do after getting naked. You keep wondering why this women undressed and let you in bed in the first place if all she had to do was play with your hair.
Look Down And Laugh
© Shutterstock
No, no, no. That is definitely the worst that can happen to you. The person who shared this story is still recovering. When he was about to have his first intercourse, his girlfriend squealed out a laugh as soon as he let his buddy out. Why she did that, nobody knows. Needless to say, the intercourse didn't happen. Hard to believe, but a lot of men have been stabbed on their self-confidence like that.
Fake An Orgasm
© Shutterstock
Women are known to fake orgasms. What they do not understand is that most of them aren't award winning actors. Sometimes, they overact. Letting out screams and moans at frequencies only bats can hear already when the thing isn't even completely in doesn't make it too hard for the dumbest among men to figure out that it's as real as Paris Hilton's assets.
Keep Talking
© Shutterstock
Conversations are good. But if she brings an Ethan Hawke-Julie Delpy conversation to bed, God save you. There is a reason why those two actors from 'Before Sunrise' series are shown walking and not having sex while discussing the many philosophies of life. Because that's how it is. Some women fail to understand that there is a place and time for conversations. And the place is definitely nowhere between the sheets.
Bring Toys
© Shutterstock
Though just a few filed this complaint, it still makes it to the list of the worst things women have done to their guys. Kinky women, we like, but there are those too, who take it to a new level. A guy sharing his story told us how his girl blindfolded him once and how exactly he felt the next moment he realised what she was trying to do. Let's just say, she took the expression 'awaken the child in you' too seriously and got her toys to bed. Our sympathies.
It Is In?
© Shutterstock
Can anything be more humiliating than your woman asking you, "is it in"? This definitely beats 'I Love You' on the list of three words men dread to hear from their girls. Not only is it suggestive of your size being small but also your incapability to satisfy your woman. In a situation like above, you can do little but jump off the balcony. Naked.
Calling Out The Wrong Name
© Shutterstock
There is a reason why Emily refused to marry Ross when he called her Rachel. That was at the wedding altar. Now exchange the genders and change the altar to your bedroom. Imagine your girl suffixing another guy's name to 'don't stop'. Can you even try to not stop? Is there anything more embarrassing? There is, we'll tell you what. The other name being that of a woman.
Telling You She Wants To Get Pregnant
© Shutterstock
If you thought you've read it all, here is another one. 'I wish the condom fails' she may let out while you're at it. What fails instead is your erection. She then looks at you with an eerie longing in her eyes that screams b-a-b-y. Nothing can be scarier.
This is to prepare you for what may lie ahead. If you have any other trauma that you've experienced in bed, we're all ears! Drop in a comment below and let the man-kind know.
0 comments:
Post a Comment